You’re Driving Me Crazy!

 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29

Let’s be honest with each other: Sometimes our family members drive us up the wall. I love my wife and kids, but at times the stay-at-home order really tested my patience. If you ask me, I’ll tell you that I’m an easy guy to live with. But lately—for some reason—my wife has thought about joining a convent and my kids want to move in with Brandma. Perhaps I’m not as easy to live with as I thought.

According to James 1:4, God sends His followers trials in order to help us become more mature and complete. And one of the trials He gives us every day is the “relationship trial.” Relationships at home, church, work, and school are incubators for growth. And the fact is: We will never become spiritually mature until we learn how to maintain our sanity in our relationships.

Consider this: When you say, “So-and-so is driving me crazy!” that statement says more about your immaturity than it does about the other person. Why? Because without your permission, your “annoying” family member couldn’t drive you anywhere. But when you and I are immature, we allow family, friends and even perfect strangers to drive us from zero to crazy in five seconds or less. 

The more immature you are, the more you’ll be annoyed by others around you. So, one of the secrets to maintaining your sanity in your relationships is to grow up—becoming more and more like Jesus. To whatever extent you become more like Christ in your relationships, to that same extent you’ll be at peace in your relationships.

About five years ago, Thom Rainier, a popular and respected church leader and consultant, posted a survey on Twitter. He asked church leaders to share some of the silly things that Christians in their churches had argued about. In the days that followed, he was blown away by the number of responses. One church’s leaders argued about the “appropriate length” of the worship leader’s beard. Another group of Christians fussed over what type of green beans should be served at church events. Yet another church argued about whether or not it’s a sin to serve “deviled” eggs at church, while two other churches argued about whether or not to switch coffee brands. (Believe it or not, some Christians left one of the churches because they didn’t like the coffee that was chosen.)

We laugh about some of these stupid, childish arguments that took place in actual churches. But, actually, we should cry! After all, the Church of Jesus Christ proclaims the Living God and the message of salvation to a lost and dying world. But far too often our petty squabbles push people away from the Church and bring shame to God. Do you think for a moment that any of these church battles mentioned above drew people closer to Christ? Do you think that non-Christians flocked to the church when they learned that its leaders were arguing about deviled eggs? Do you think that Jesus was glorified by the battles fought over green beans and coffee? Hardly!

We have to remember that the world is watching us and making judgments about the Church and Christ based on our how we treat each other. So, whether we are at home, church, work or school, we must be careful to treat each other in a way that honors God and draws people to Christ. Husbands and wives, never forget that people hear how you speak to each other in public, and they take note that you are Christians. Parents, non-Christians listen to how you speak to your kids and grandkids at WinCo and take note that you are followers of Christ. The world is watching and listening.

God’s word tells us in Ephesians 4:29: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” The word “unwholesome” is a translation of a Greek term that was used in Jesus’ day to describe stinky, rotting fish. Isn’t that a powerful word picture? Jesus Christ tells his followers—you and me—“You should never have stinky, rotting fish come out of your mouths. Your harsh, silly, immature arguments are like stinky fish to God. Your criticism is like stinky fish to God. And your grumbling and complaining are like stinky fish to God.”

Would you agree that there’s far too much stinky fish in our churches? In our workplaces? On social media? In our political campaigns? And in our homes? One of the reasons our family members are driving us crazy during COVID is because there is too much stinky fish in our homes. Our homes should be a consistent contrast to the petty arguments, criticism and judgment that are so prevalent outside our four walls. Our homes should be a place where we build each other up according to each family member’s needs. Our homes should be a place where our words benefit those who listen.

Perhaps God is leading you to have a heart-to-heart with your family today. If so, I encourage you to humble yourself before you family—sharing Ephesians 4:29 with them and confessing that you yourself have been guilty of speaking words that have torn down instead of built up. Ask your family to join you in drawing a line in the sand today: committing to eliminate silly arguments, harsh criticism and judgment from your home. Make a commitment to encourage each other, build each other up according to each person’s needs and speak words that benefit those who listen. If you and your family commit to living out Ephesians 4:29 every day, is there any doubt that you’ll be saying far less often, “You’re driving me crazy!”?

Dane Davis is the Pastor of Impact Christian Church. Please join us for our live outdoor worship service Sundays at 9 a.m. at 17746 George Blvd. in Victorville. Or, join us online at 10 a.m. on our YouTube channel (Impact Christian Church) or on Facebook.

For Such a Time As This

“Who knows but that you have come to your … position for such a time as this?”

– Esther 4:14

My wife team-teaches second grade at Victor Valley Christian School. Last month, when I popped into her classroom, I overheard something that really struck me. Her team teacher, who is also a pastor’s wife, was giving the Bible lesson to the kids. She told them, “In this class we don’t call them Bible stories, because they are true. We call them Bible TRUTHS.”

We must never forget that. Whenever we refer to a Bible “story,” it’s not something that can be lumped in with “The Lion King” or “Aladdin.” Bible stories are in a league of their own, because they are true, and they are part of God’s word. So, with that in mind, I want to share with you one of my favorite stories in the whole Bible: The story of Queen Esther.

In a search that played out like a real-life version of The Bachelor, Xerxes, the king of Persia, conducted a kingdom-wide search for a bride. From the most beautiful young maidens in the kingdom, he chose a lovely Jewish woman named Esther to be his bride, and she became Queen of Persia in chapter 2 of the Book of Esther. But there was a problem. Because of the hostility toward Jews in Persia at that time, Esther’s cousin Mordecai ordered her not to reveal her nationality and family background. Esther was on thin ice … and then, in chapter 3, a scoundrel by the name of Haman became the second most powerful leader in Persia. Haman hated Esther’s cousin Mordecai—so much, in fact, that he plotted not only to kill him, but everyone in his family. Haman tricked the king into signing an edict saying that on the 13^th day of the 12^th month of that year, every Jew in the kingdom of Persia would be killed.

In Chapter 4, Mordecai sent word to Esther, telling her to go into the king’s presence to beg for mercy for her people. Esther was hesitant. She sent word back to Mordecai, explaining that anyone who approached the king without an invitation could be put to death on the spot—and it had been a month since Xerxes had sent for her. Mordecai sent back this memorable reply: “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” (vs. 13-14).

“For such a time as this”—these are the six most famous words in all of Esther. She was afraid to do what Mordecai had asked. She didn’t want to suffer. She didn’t want to die. But Mordecai’s words won her over. Esther believed that God had raised her up “for such a time as this.” So, she took a stand—and she successfully stood up for her people.

As our church moves to a new location, there’s a really important question that we need to answer: Why are we moving? Numerous reasons spring to mind. The drive up George Boulevard to our current location, surrounded by abandoned air base housing, is scary. Our church isn’t growing in its location. We’re not getting many first-time visitors, and many feel the drive to get here is too long. The list goes on and on. But there’s really only one answer that matters. Why are we moving? Because we believe God said so.

Now, let me be clear. None of our staff or leaders heard the audible voice of God say, “Move your church to the Ralph Baker School in September 2019.” None of us received a late-night visit from the Angel Gabriel. We didn’t even get an email from Roma Downey from “Touched by an Angel.”  But each of us has a relationship with God. Each of us talks with God regularly. And we believe God has been clearly leading our church in this direction, and He opened many doors to prove it.

The Lord has been so amazing over these past eight months. There’s a reason He brought us a buyer for our building two years ago. There’s a reason that a brand new school in a strategic location was available for rent at just the right time. There’s a reason I was introduced to the superintendent of the school district in February. There’s a reason that the decision-makers at the school have been so supportive. We believe God was clearly calling us to take a leap of faith and move on from here to make a greater impact for Christ in our community.

For the past 25 years, the former airbase chapel has been Ground Zero for some great ministry. We’ve baptized 582 adults, teens and kids. We’ve blessed low income families with more than 5,000 backpacks. Thousands of lives have been touched by the ministries that have taken place over the past 25 years. We have made an impact in our community from a very challenging location, and I believe God is saying to our church, “Well done!”

But God has also made it clear that we cannot settle for the status quo. What He’s been doing over the past 25 years has been preparing us for this next season. We believe God has called our church to its new home for such a time as this. And could it be that all of the challenges, trials and difficulties you’ve experienced have been God’s training ground—preparing you for such a time as this?

Dane Davis is the Lead Pastor of Impact Christian Church. Join us for our Grand Opening at 10 am Sunday, October 6^th at the new Ralph Baker School in Victorville. For more information, visit www.GreaterImpact.cc.