Can I Divorce My Non-Christian Spouse?

“‘For I hate divorce!’ says the Lord, the God of Israel. ‘To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty…. So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” – Malachi 2:16

In Old Testament days, many of God’s followers didn’t think divorce was a big deal. Many New Testament Jews didn’t think divorce was a big deal either. And today, a growing number of Americans – and even many Christians – don’t think divorce is a big deal.

But God HATES it (Malachi 2:16). And in Matthew 19:9, Jesus says much the same thing: “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul once again makes it clear: If you are married to a Christian, you MUST stay married (vs. 10-11). If you get a divorce for any reason other than adultery, you must either stay single or remarry your ex-spouse. 

But what about Christians who are married to a non-Christian spouse? As Paul continues the chapter, he considers 2 different scenarios:

#1: Christians who are married to non-Christians who want to stay married (vs. 12-14): Paul makes it clear that when a married man or woman comes to faith in Christ, his or her Christianity shouldn’t negatively disrupt the family or tear the family apart. To the contrary, a husband or wife’s Christian faith should be a blessing to their marriage and should be a sanctifying force in their family. So, when it comes to the question of whether or not a Christian has God’s permission to divorce his/her non-Christian spouse, the answer is NO. If your non-Christian spouse is willing to stay married to you and is not committing adultery, you do NOT have God’s permission to divorce him/her.

#2: Christians who are married to non-Christians who want a divorce (vs. 15-16): In this case, Paul writes that when an unbelieving spouse chooses to walk out and abandon his/her spouse, “a believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances” (v. 15). So it seems clear that in God’s eyes, a divorce is permissible in this case. What Paul doesn’t tell us is whether or not God permits the abandoned spouse to remarry. However, if you go back to Charles Spurgeon in the 19th Century and Martin Luther and John Calvin in the 16th Century, all three respected Bible scholars taught that re-marriage was permissible for a divorcee who was the innocent party in a marriage that dissolved because of adultery or desertion.

Is God’s Word on divorce countercultural? Most definitely! And is it uncomfortable to hear? Without a doubt! But now you know the truth – right from God’s Word.

Dane Davis is the pastor of Impact Christian Church in Victorville. Join us at Impact for Sunday services: in person or online at 8:45 a.m. on Facebook Live or YouTube. For more information, visit www.GreaterImpact.cc.

Is Celibacy the Way to Go?

“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.” 
– 1 Corinthians 7:8

Singleness is on the rise in the United States. Many young adults are choosing to wait longer to get married. The median age for men to get married for the first time is 30 years old, and it’s 28 for women. And a growing number of adults are choosing NOT to get re-married after being widowed or divorced.

 

So -- what does GOD have to say about singleness vs. marriage? If you’re single, should you be celibate? If you’re married, should you still be celibate? 

 

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul is answering specific questions that the Corinthians asked him, beginning with this one: “Is it good for a man NOT to touch a woman?” “Touch a woman” was a G-rated way of saying, “have sexual intercourse.” So, we could paraphrase their question this way: “Is it good for a Christian man to remain single and celibate?”

 

And Paul’s answer is a surprising … YES! “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman” (v. 1). In verse 7, Paul even goes so far as to say that singleness is a grace gift from God: “I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.”

 

However, looking at verse 7 again, it also implies that, like single celibacy, marriage is another grace gift from God. And in verse 2, Paul says: “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.”

 

Now, Paul doesn’t say that the whole purpose of marriage is to give your sex drive a place to cut loose. But it IS true that for the majority of Christians who have sexual desires and needs, marriage provides a safe, holy place to fulfill those desires and needs (within reason). As Paul continues in verse 3 and 4: “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.”

 

As far as celibacy within marriage goes, Paul tells us we should only practice it sparingly. He writes, “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (v. 5).

 

Regardless of whether you’re single or married, by God’s grace you CAN be content (Philippians 4:12-13). If you’re single, be content in your singleness as long as God blesses you with it – because your singleness gives you a beautiful opportunity to serve God without distractions. And if you’re married, be content in your marriage, because your spouse is a gift from God. Single or married, you can be content and serve God “through Christ who gives you strength.”

Dane Davis is the pastor of Impact Christian Church in Victorville. Join us at Impact for Sunday services: in person or online at 8:45 a.m. on Facebook Live or YouTube. For more information, visit www.GreaterImpact.cc.

Don’t Sue Your Brother!

"If any of you has a dispute with another, do you dare to take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the Lord’s people?” – 1 Corinthians 6:1

In 1 Corinthians chapter 6, the Apostle Paul tackles one of many major problems in the Corinthian Church: Christians were suing Christians.

Believe it or not, the Greeks in Paul’s day were even more “sue-happy” than we are today. Citizens of Athens filed suit against each other for all sorts of reasons. The public found the court proceedings to be highly entertaining. The Greeks didn’t try cases with 12 jurors; they tried cases with a few hundred jurors … sometimes up to a few thousand jurors. And the Christians of Corinth were taking part in this sue-happy culture.

In verses 1-3, Paul shares three reasons civil disputes between Christians should NOT be taken into secular courts. First off, secular courts are filled with ungodly judges (v. 1). Second, God trusts Christians, not secular judges, to help judge the world (v. 2). In fact, God will even entrust Christians to help judge angels (v. 3).

Paul writes in verse 4, “If you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church!” Obviously, a spiritually mature Christian is the best choice. But when two Christians are going at it, even an immature Christian judge inside the church is preferrable to a non-Christian judge outside the church.

If you sue your Christian brother or sister in a secular court, in God’s eyes you’ve already lost. Even if you win the case, you’ve lost, your brother in Christ has lost, and the church that you both belong to has lost. As Chuck Swindoll puts it, “As the world watched Christian ‘love’ and ‘fellowship’ disintegrate into hate and infighting, they sneered at the claims of the faith.… Before the eyes of the world, they had lost their testimony as authentic disciples of Christ (John 13:35).”

So, what are we supposed to do when we have some sort of financial dispute with another Christian? Paul lays out two simple steps: 

Step #1 (v. 4): If you and the other Christian can’t work it out one-on-one, ask a mature Christian in the church to be an arbitrator. And if that doesn’t work …

Step #2 (v. 7): Be willing to be wronged and cheated. Period. No griping about what’s “not fair.” No jockeying for position or seeking retribution. No bitterness or resentment. Instead, choose grace. Choose kindness. Choose forgiveness.

Christian arbitration must never be only about justice. Christian arbitration must always balance biblical justice with biblical grace. And it must be in pursuit of righteousness for the glory of God. Now, how are you going to get THAT in a secular court? You’re NOT!

If you have a dispute with another Christian, don’t you dare take him/her to court. With God’s perfect, holy Word in hand and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, let the church help the two of you work it out – for your good, the good of the Church, and for the glory of God.

Dane Davis is the pastor of Impact Christian Church, meeting Sundays at 8:45 a.m. at 17746 George Blvd in Victorville. For more information, visit www.GreaterImpact.cc.