A Surprising Messenger

 “Jesus … has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.”
- Acts 9:17

On the Road to Damascus, Saul of Tarsus was given a huge wake-up call from Jesus Christ. For months Saul had been running around Jerusalem, barging into synagogues and homes, arresting, beating, and petitioning for the execution of Christian men and women. But on the Road to Damascus, Saul came face-to-face with Jesus Christ. Jesus knocked Saul off his high horse as He appeared to him in a blinding light and asked him a point-blank question in Acts 9:4: “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute Me?”

And as Saul lay on the ground, overcome by fear, guilt and regret, he asked Jesus the best question he could have asked: “What shall I do, Lord? What shall I do?” Jesus told Saul he had been chosen to open the eyes of Jews and Gentiles alike so that their sins could be forgiven through faith in Christ. But before Saul could do that, Jesus instructed him merely to “get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do” (Acts 9:6).

To deliver Saul’s next instructions, God chose an unlikely messenger: a man named Ananias. Ananias is first mentioned in Acts 9:10—and he disappears just 10 verses later. I find it very interesting AND inspiring that God used this obscure Christian to play a pivotal role in Saul’s conversion to Christianity. Paul went on to become the most influential Christian leader in church history. Yet God didn’t choose Peter or any of the other apostles to lead him to Christ. God chose a simple, little-known Christian named Ananias. I love it!

Three days after Jesus Christ appeared to Saul on the Damascus Road, Jesus appeared to Ananias in a vision. Jesus told him: “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight” (vs. 10-12). Ananias was floored. He probably thought, “Saul of Tarsus? Every Christian in Damascus knows about that guy. If he's blind right now, it’s probably best just to keep him that way so he can’t find us.” Ananias can’t keep quiet about his concerns. So, he said in vs. 13-14: “Lord, I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to Your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on Your name.” 

The Lord patiently listened to Ananias, but then simply responded: “Go! This man is My chosen instrument to carry My name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel” (v. 15). Jesus Christ, in essence, is saying, “Ananias, you don’t have to UNDERSTAND My perfect plan, but you do need to OBEY it.”

So, Ananias obeyed the word of the Lord. He went to Judas’ house on Straight Street, and he was surprised by the man he saw praying in front of him. Saul didn’t look at all like the bloodthirsty wolf of a man everyone talked about. He looked like a humble, desperate man praying to God for mercy and grace that he knew he didn’t deserve. Saul hadn’t eaten or tasted a drop of water in three days. He was a broken man. And Ananias began to see what God saw. He walked over to Saul, placed his hands on him and said, “Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit” (v.17). Instantly, Saul’s sight was restored.

Then Ananias told Saul the amazing news: “The God of our fathers has chosen you to know His will and to see the Righteous One and to hear words from His mouth. You will be His witness to all men of what you have seen and heard. And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on His name” (Acts 22:14-16). Saul wasted no time doing exactly that. No quick snack or cup of water to tide him over till dinner. He got up, confessed Jesus Christ as his Savior and Lord and was baptized in water. And Ananias was most likely the man who had the privilege of baptizing Saul.

The vast majority of us are called to be Ananiases, not Sauls. Without fame or fortune, God calls us in our obscurity to do precisely WHAT He asks us to do WHEN He asks us to do it. You and I need to accept and live out our calling. Chuck Swindoll says it this way: “A rare few in God’s family enjoy fame and renown, position and influence. The great majority, however, are the Ananiases of the world—the errand runners, if you will, doing precisely what God has asked them to do, in precisely the place He’s called them to go. They keep the Body functioning in good health. None will ever know, until eternity dawns, the enormity of their investment in the cause of Christ.”

Remember: Jesus Christ is full of surprises. So don’t get too comfortable where you are—physically, emotionally, spiritually or geographically. God has a way of shaking up your plans to stretch you and move you into deeper levels of trust and obedience. He is ready to use you today … as long as you listen to His word and obey His leading. Be the best Ananias you can possibly be.

Dane Davis is the pastor of Impact Christian Church in Victorville. Join us at Impact for Sunday services: in person at 9 a.m., or online at 10 a.m. on YouTube or Facebook Live. For more information, visit www.GreaterImpact.cc.

Taming a Rabid Wolf

“Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” -- Acts 9:4

Back in the early 1970s, Chuck Colson was Richard Nixon’s White House counsel and hatchet man—one of the most ruthless political operatives of the past 50 years. During Nixon’s first term as President, Colson was behind the scenes carrying out Nixon’s dirty work—no matter how dishonest or unethical it was. Someone who knew Colson well described him as “the kind of guy who would run over his grandmother if necessary to get the job done.”

But early in President Nixon’s second term in office, Chuck Colson gave his life to Jesus Christ. Once he was a Christian, he was determined to become an honest man. And he didn’t just talk the talk. He walked the walk. In 1974, over a year after leaving the White House, Colson pleaded guilty to obstruction of justice, and he served a seven-month sentence in Alabama’s Maxwell Prison.

In his book, “Born Again,” Colson reflected on his time behind bars: “I found myself increasingly drawn to the idea that God had put me in prison for a purpose and that I should do something for those I had left behind.” And Chuck Colson did do something. In 1976, a year after being released from prison, he founded Prison Fellowship, which is now the nation’s largest Christian nonprofit serving prisoners, former prisoners and their families.

You see, as I mentioned in my last column, God doesn’t just save hell-bent sinners. He recruits them to change the world. That was true of Nixon’s hatchet man, and it was also true of a young Jewish thug named Saul.

Saul was a Pharisee—a well-educated, legalistic member of the Jewish establishment. He was, as he wrote later, “convinced that I ought to do all that was possible to oppose the name of Jesus of Nazareth” (Acts 26:9). In those days, Saul was like a rabid wolf mangling his prey. He often went from house-to-house and synagogue-to-synagogue arresting Christians. Some he whipped. Others he imprisoned. Still others he recommended for execution. That all changed suddenly one day when Saul was on the road to Damascus, on his way to take more Christians as prisoners.

A blinding light from heaven blazed around him, and Saul fell to the ground. A voice asked him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” (Acts 9:4). When a terrified Saul asked who was speaking to him, he learned it was Jesus of Nazareth. And God didn’t just appear to Saul in order to save him. He appeared to Saul in order to appoint him as a servant and witness to both Jews and Gentiles to “open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God” (Acts 26:18). In other words, Jesus wasn’t just interested in saving hell-bent Saul. He was recruiting him to change the world. And Saul responded with obedience. He stood up—blind as a bat—and walked the rest of the way into the city of Damascus to await his instructions from the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

In that moment, Saul’s world turned upside down. Here are a few quick lessons we can learn from his conversion.

Lesson #1: More often than not, those who most aggressively attack Christians and claim that God is dead are in an unseen spiritual battle, wrestling with faith in God. So, hold out hope and pray for them. What we see on the surface in just a glimpse of what’s going on inside a man or woman. Oftentimes, under the surface there’s a spiritual battle raging that we don’t know about. So, despite what you see or hear on the surface, pray for God to keep working on that person’s heart and overcome his/her resistance.

Lesson #2: Like Saul, we’re no match for God. Because He loves us, He will relentlessly pursue us until we willingly submit to Him. As the great British author C.S. Lewis put it, God was like a Divine chess player—systematically, patiently maneuvering his opponent into a corner until finally Saul conceded. “Checkmate.” So, if you’re resisting God, I encourage you to knock it off. You’re hurting yourself. And in all likelihood, you’re hurting others around you. So, stop being so stubborn. Saul learned the hard way, but you don’t have to.

Lesson #3: On the road to Damascus, Jesus Christ didn’t just turn a wolf into a sheep. He began turning a wolf into a shepherd. Think about it: God didn’t waste any of Saul’s wolf-like past. Instead, He used it for advancing Christ’s Kingdom. And the same could be said about Chuck Colson and you. God won’t waste any of your past. If you’ll let Him, He will use your stubbornness, your orneriness, your broken relationships, your addictions, your failures and even your greatest sins for His glory. Remarkable, isn’t He?

Dane Davis is the pastor of Impact Christian Church in Victorville. Join us at Impact for Sunday services: in person at 9 a.m., or online at 10 a.m. on YouTube or Facebook Live. For more information, visit www.GreaterImpact.cc.

The Most Unlikely Christian

“Paul was like a wild man, going everywhere to devastate believers.” – Acts 8:3

Every few years, historians around the country are asked: Who was the greatest President in American history? And the one who almost always comes in first place is Abraham Lincoln. As much as the Civil War tore our country apart, it could have been much worse if we hadn’t had such a strong, godly leader in the White House.

You might think that his success as President was the culmination of a successful career.

But surprisingly, it wasn’t. Lincoln had almost no formal schooling. He started two businesses that failed. When he applied to law school, he was rejected because of his miserable qualifications. He ran for the Illinois General Assembly, Congress, the U.S. Senate and for Vice President—and lost every time. In 1858 he ran for the Senate and lost again. By then, no one in their right mind would have predicted that two years later, in 1860, Abraham Lincoln not only would be elected as the 16th President of the United States—but that he would become the greatest President in our history. If you’d made that prediction in 1858, people would have thought you were clinically insane.

And in the year following Jesus’ ascension into heaven, people would have said the same thing about Paul. If you had told the people of Jerusalem that the young, hot-headed Pharisee known as “Saul” was going to become a Christian, they would have called you delusional. If you had told them he would go on to write half the books of the New Testament and become the most influential Christian leader in the history of the faith, they would have thought you were a lunatic!

The first time we meet Paul in the Bible, he’s standing by, guarding the coats of the executioners who threw stones at Stephen, the first Christian martyr. These murderers were the same false witnesses who had condemned Stephen on phony charges of blasphemy. And in case there’s any doubt in our minds about whether or not Paul approved of this lynch mob, we’re told plainly in Acts 8:1, “And Saul was there, giving approval to his death.”

As Stephen’s blood splattered on the ground at Saul’s feet, he developed a thirst for Christian blood. Because we read in verse 3, “Saul began to destroy the church.” This word “destroy” is a translation of a Greek word that described a wild animal mangling its prey. Saul was like a blood-thirsty wolf who wanted to mangle Christians. The Living Bible says it this way: “Paul was like a wild man, going everywhere to devastate believers.” And verse 3 continues, “Going from house to house, he dragged off men and women and put them in prison.”

The Jewish leaders hated Christians. But Saul hated them even more. Saul hated Christians with a passion. Because, from the bottom of his heart, Saul hated Jesus Christ. He hated Jesus so much that he set out on a mission to eradicate the name of Jesus not only from the lips of Christians in Jerusalem, but from the lips of Christians around the world. Yet this is the man God chose to write half the books of the New Testament. This is the man God chose to be the most influential Christian who ever lived. No one in his right mind would have ever seen that coming!

I’d like to share three life lessons from the example of Paul.

#1: Even the greatest Christians have a dark side. We all have checkered pasts. Think about it. David, the man after God’s own heart, was an adulterer and a murderer. Jacob, father of the 12 tribes of Israel, was a conniving liar. Peter denied knowing Jesus three times. And Paul arrested and killed Christians, because the bottom line was: He HATED Jesus. Even the most loving, caring, world-changing Christians have checkered pasts. We all have a dark side to our testimony.

#2: No matter what you’ve done, no matter how far you’ve strayed from God, there is hope for you in Christ. If you’ll let Him, God will save you. I tell people often: God’s grace is greater than my disgrace. The most loved, most sung Christian song of the past 200 years is “Amazing Grace.” Its writer, John Newton, was once a disgraceful slave ship captain. But after he became a Christian, he was so convicted by what he had been doing, he quit the slave trade. And years later he penned the words, “Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found. ... Was blind but now I see.” If God could forgive and save a man like John Newton, then he can save you and me, too.

#3: God doesn’t just SAVE hell-bent sinners—He recruits them to change the world. This lesson applies to everyone around you—especially to those who are the furthest from God right now. It applies to your brother or sister who hasn’t gone to church in 10 years. It applies to your son or daughter who told you a few months back, “I don’t believe in God anymore.” It applies to your niece or nephew, strung out on drugs. It applies to your uncle in prison. It applies to everyone.

Christians, don’t stop praying for those around you who are the least likely people on the planet to be saved and chosen by God to change the world. In His amazing grace, God loves choosing the worst of sinners to do some of His greatest work. He loves to pull wicked sinners out of the grip of hell and raise them up to bring heaven to earth. God did it 2,000 years ago with a Jesus-hating murderer named Saul, and He still does it today.

Dane Davis is the pastor of Impact Christian Church in Victorville. Join us at Impact for Sunday services: in person at 9 a.m., or online at 10 a.m. on YouTube or Facebook Live. For more information, visit www.GreaterImpact.cc.

Who Wants to Be Poor?

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
— Matthew 5:3

Ask any Christian what the most important verse in the Bible is, and more often than not they’ll answer, John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” That verse beautifully summarizes the fact that we can never EARN our salvation. Salvation is a gift from God. And the key to receiving that gift is faith. We must believe—truly believe—in Jesus.

But somewhere along the way, many Christians have bought into the crazy idea that Christianity is ONLY about holding the right beliefs. As long as I believe right, I will be right with God. As long as I believe that Jesus is the Christ and the Son of the living God, as long as I believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God, I can call myself a “good Christian.”

But there’s just one problem with this notion: It’s not true. Jesus never taught us that Christianity is only a matter of BELIEVING right. Christianity is also a matter of DOING right. We are not just believers in Jesus Christ. We are believers and followers of Jesus Christ.  And nowhere is that made more clear than in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount.

The first type of teaching Jesus uses in this great sermon are known as the Beatitudes, which we find in Matthew 5:3-12. The word “beatitude” is taken from the Latin word “beatitudo”, which means “blessed are.” Many pastors and Bible teachers translate this word simply as “happy.” But “happy” is far too narrow a translation. “Blessed” means so much more than happy. Years ago, one of my Bible college professors, Knofel Staton, did an in-depth study of this word “blessed,” and he learned that it means two things beyond “happy”:

1: Congratulations. In his Beatitudes, Jesus isn’t just saying that those who are poor in spirit, those who mourn and those who are merciful will be happy. He is also saying “Congratulations are in order for my followers who are poor in spirit and those who mourn.”

2: Buoyed up. Jesus is also saying, “In this sinful world we live in—no matter what hardships or insults come your way—the world will never be able to sink your faith or drown your relationship with Christ. God will see to it that you will always bounce back to surface. You are buoyed up in Christ. Neither this world nor the armies of hell can sink a faithful follower of Christ.”

Let’s focus on the first Beatitude from the Sermon on the Mount: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (v. 3). Someone once asked the evangelist Billy Graham: Why doesn’t Jesus tell us to be rich in spirit instead of telling us to be poor in spirit? Reverend Graham answered: “If you put the word ‘humble’ in place of the word ‘poor,’ you will understand what [Jesus] meant. We must be humble in our spirits. In other words, when we come to God, we must realize our own sin and our spiritual emptiness and poverty. We must not be self-satisfied or proud in our hearts, thinking we don’t really need God. If we are, God cannot bless us. The Bible says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6).” So, “poor in spirit” means humble in spirit and empty in spirit.

If I am serious about being in Christ’s heavenly kingdom, I must begin by confessing that by myself, I can’t ever get there. By myself I will never get to heaven. By myself I can never be right with God. By myself I can never ever be saved. If you don’t fall in line with this truth, you CAN’T be blessed by God.  So, if you can’t live out this first beatitude, there’s no point moving on to the other seven.

Some of us come to Christ with notions of our own righteousness. This first beatitude knocks us off our high horse. Some of us come to Christ thinking we’ll impress Him with our religious heritage: “I grew up in a good Catholic home.” “I was baptized as a baby and confirmed as a teenager.” “My wife and I were married in the church.” But this beatitude makes it clear, not only that our religious upbringing doesn’t impress God, but that it actually turns Him off when we hold it up like some sort of trophy. If you puff out your chest and brag to God about making it onto the religious honor roll, Jesus Christ will flunk you out of class. Religious pride is repulsive to Him. But He is drawn to spiritual poverty.

At the heart of this first beatitude is a humble recognition of my weakness and God’s strength, an understanding that I offer God nothing yet God offers me everything. Spiritual poverty is attractive to Jesus because it’s honest, it’s real, and—most importantly—it gives Him plenty of room to come in and fill us with more of God. The biggest problem with being a religious snob is that we’re so full of ourselves, there’s no room left for Christ. But when we are spiritually humble, spiritually empty, there is plenty of room for Jesus to come in and fill us with Himself. So, Jesus begins the Sermon on the Mount by saying, “Follow me humbly, or you won’t follow me at all.”

Dane Davis is the pastor of Impact Christian Church in Victorville. His latest book, “Buoyed Up: Jesus’ 8 Steps to an Unsinkable Life,” is available on Amazon in paperback, e-book and audiobook. Join us at Impact for Sunday services: in person at 9 a.m., or online at 10 a.m. on Facebook Live or YouTube. For more information, visit www.GreaterImpact.cc.).

What Does God Say About Divorce?

“They are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.” 
– Matthew 19:6

A married couple had their first big fight. They got so mad at each other that they started giving each other the silent treatment. Both of them were pretty stubborn, and this silent treatment went on for days. But then, three days into their standoff, the man realized he needed his wife’s help. He had to get up at 5 a.m. the next morning to catch a flight to Chicago, but he had a bad habit of sleeping through his alarm.

But he still didn’t want to be the first one to crack and break the silence. So, the husband wrote a note to his wife and set it in front of her: “Please wake me at 5 a.m.” The next morning the man woke up, looked at the clock, and saw that it was 9 a.m. He’d missed his flight! He turned toward his wife, about to yell at her. Just then a Post-It note fell from his forehead and fluttered into his lap. It read: “It’s 5 a.m. Wake up.”

That’s an example of a marriage that needed a lot of work. But is it ever okay to give up on a marriage? What does God think of divorce? In the book of Malachi, He’s as direct as He could possibly be: “‘I hate divorce,’ says the LORD God of Israel” (v. 16). Three different times in this chapter, God speaks of the sin of “breaking faith with the wife of your youth.” He says it most clearly in verse 14: “The LORD is acting as a witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.” You see, when a man and woman get married, they stand in front of God and each other and forge a covenant—a binding, lifelong commitment—promising to love, honor and cherish each other for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. And that covenant is binding until one of them dies.

So in essence, God says in Malachi 2, “Husbands, when you divorce your wife, you are shredding your marriage covenant. You are abandoning your marriage partner. You are breaking the trusting relationship that you promised to her on your wedding day. And when you break your relationship with her, you break your relationship with Me. And I hate it!”

Fast forward 400 years. When the Pharisees ask Jesus about divorce in the book of Matthew, He takes His listeners back to the very beginning—Genesis 2:24: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” And then in Matthew 19:6, Jesus adds the words that have been repeated millions of times in Christian wedding ceremonies. “So, they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

Jesus’ critics ask a follow-up question in verse 7: “Why then did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” (As a side note, they’re twisting God’s words. Neither God nor Moses ever commanded a husband to divorce his wife in the Old Testament law.) Jesus responded, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery” (vs. 8-9). Why? Because in God’s eyes, he’s still married to his first wife. Their divorce might have been LEGAL, but it wasn’t BIBLICAL.  It might have been sanctioned by MAN, but it wasn’t sanctioned by GOD.

In Matthew 19:9, Jesus goes on to offer us only one reason for a divorce that is acceptable to God: marital unfaithfulness (aka, adultery): “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” You may ask, “Does Jesus give a divorced Christian permission to marry someone else if there WERE biblical grounds for divorce?” If you look very closely at what Jesus says in verse 9, the answer appears to be, “Yes, He does.” If a husband commits adultery, God gives his wife permission to divorce him. God doesn’t command it. God doesn’t even encourage it. But He permits it. And if, after the divorce is final, she chooses to marry another man, God doesn’t command it. God doesn’t encourage it. But He permits it. She is not committing adultery with her new husband, because in God’s eyes she is no longer married to her first husband.

There is only one other acceptable reason for a divorce according to the New Testament. In 1 Corinthians 7:15, Paul writes that a Christian spouse isn’t “bound” to a non-Christian spouse who physically abandons him or her. He seems to allow divorce in such situations, but he doesn’t address the question of whether or not re-marriage is permitted by God.

However, if in some way your marriage is struggling or broken, it’s not enough for me to just tell you, “God hates divorce, so don’t do it!” With good counsel and God’s guidance, I believe struggling Christian couples can build a brand new marriage. One that works. One that God has always wanted the two of you to enjoy together. I urge you to seek that guidance. God HATES divorce, because God LOVES marriage. So, you’d better believe that He is willing to roll up His sleeves and work with you to make your marriage better than ever. For marriages that are hurting, unhappy or broken, I highly recommend Dr. David Clarke’s book, “I Don’t Want a Divorce: A 90-Day Guide to Saving Your Marriage.”

Dane Davis is the pastor of Impact Christian Church in Victorville. His new book, “Buoyed Up: Jesus’ 8 Steps to an Unsinkable Life,” is available on Amazon in paperback, e-book and audiobook. Join us at Impact for Sunday services: in person at 9 a.m., or online at 10 a.m. on Facebook Live or YouTube. For more information, visit www.GreaterImpact.cc.

Can Sex Be Holy?

  “Make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.” – Ephesians 5:26

One night an elderly couple was lying on opposite sides of the bed. The wife was unhappy about the distance between them. She reminded her husband, “When we were young, you used to hold my hand in bed.” He hesitated a moment, then reached across the bed and grasped her hand. After a few moments, she said, “When we were young, you used to cuddle right up next to me.” The husband hesitated a bit longer this time. But eventually, with a few groans, he laboriously turned his body and cradled her in his arms as best he could. She still wasn’t satisfied. She said, “When we were young, you used to nibble on my ear.” Giving a loud sigh, he threw back the covers and bolted out of bed. Somewhat hurt, she asked, “Where are you going?” The husband responded, “To get my teeth!”

Physical intimacy can be an awkward topic. But it may surprise you to learn that the Bible doesn’t shy away from the subject of sex. In most cases, it’s tactful and discreet—but the Bible DOES have a lot to say about sexual intimacy in marriage.

When it comes to understanding true physical intimacy, we as 21st century Christians have two strikes against us. First, our culture is obsessed with sex. It’s everywhere. It’s in our TV shows; it’s in our movies; it’s in our music; it’s in our commercials; and in its most perverted form, it’s plastered all over the internet. But there’s a second strike against us: Churches tend to ignore the topic of sexual intimacy. Some churches ignore it because it’s uncomfortable. Others ignore it because what God has to say about it is unpopular and politically incorrect. Still other churches ignore it because they really don’t understand how important sexual intimacy is to God. Therefore, far too many Christian couples begin dating relationships and get married without having learned what God has to say about true sexual intimacy. And as a result, our dating relationships and our marriages suffer.

Well, I don’t want our relationships to suffer. So, allow me a few moments to point out a few insights from God’s word. Many Christians wonder if God has a specific list of “do’s and don’t’s” when it comes to sexual intimacy within marriage. Well, the quick answer is, No. God doesn’t give us a specific list of do’s and don’ts. But He does give us some wonderful principles in Ephesians 5:25-33 that serve as a guide for Christian husbands and wives. Chances are you’ve never viewed this passage as God’s guide for you in the area of sexual intimacy, but it is. It boils down to these three points:

#1: True sexual intimacy must be grounded in “agape” love, not selfish lust (v. 25). Guess which Greek word for love is used throughout this passage. It’s “agape”—unselfish, unconditional, Christ-like love. When sexual intimacy isn’t grounded in agape love, it can be like a hurricane sweeping through a mobile home park. It leaves a whole lot of damage in its wake.

#2: True sexual intimacy involves self-sacrifice—giving yourself up for the good of your spouse (v. 25). According to God’s word, your main focus during sexual intimacy should be pleasing your spouse, not pleasing yourself. I love the way theologian Warren Wiersbe says it: “Sexual love is a beautiful tool to build with, not a weapon to fight with.” Far too many wives use sex as a weapon to manipulate their husbands. And far too many husbands give their wives guilt trips about sex. That’s not conducive to intimacy. True sexual intimacy involves self-sacrifice.

#3: True sexual intimacy is holy and cleanses your spouse (v. 26).  According to God’s word, all sex outside of marriage is perverted, regardless of whether it’s heterosexual or homosexual. It’s dirty, and it makes both sexual partners dirty. You see, God created sex to be like the water in your washing machine. If it stays inside the machine, it makes your clothes clean. But if you toss it in the dirt, it will just make your clothes dirtier. Within a godly marriage, sexual intimacy can help cleanse your spouse of lustful thoughts. It can help cleanse your spouse of discouragement and insecurities. And it can help cleanse your spouse of feelings of rejection. No, sexual intimacy can’t cleanse your spouse of sin. Only Jesus can do that. But there is cleansing power in sexual intimacy, and that is by God’s design. So, is there such a thing as holy sex? Yes, there is, when we allow God’s word to be our guide.

One final insight: Sexual intimacy provides a living illustration of how passionately Jesus Christ loves us and desires to be close to us. Listen to what Paul writes in Ephesians 5:31-32 as he’s giving instructions to husbands: “‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.” You see, the very best marriages are a living illustration of Christ’s love for the Church, which in the New Testament is often called the Bride of Christ.

When we are intimate with our spouses and experience that agape love, we are closer than we can ever be to any other human being. Could it be that God designed this intimacy for us to better understand how much Jesus loves us … and how much He wants us to be close to Him?

Dane Davis is the pastor of Impact Christian Church in Victorville. His new book, “Buoyed Up: Jesus’ 8 Steps to an Unsinkable Life,” is available on Amazon in paperback, e-book and audiobook. Join us at Impact for Sunday services: in person at 9 a.m., or online at 10 a.m. on Facebook Live or YouTube. For more information, visit www.GreaterImpact.cc.

What Makes a Compatible Marriage?

 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.” - 2 Corinthians 6:14

Even if you’re not a basketball fan, you probably know who Shaquille O’Neal is. Shaq was one of the most dominant NBA centers of all time, helping to lead the Los Angeles Lakers to three NBA championships. He’s in the Hall of Fame. But have you ever seen a picture of Shaq standing next to his girlfriend? She’s a lovely woman—but Shaq looks like a giant standing next to her. The top of her head comes up to the crook of his elbow! I guess when you’re 7-foot-1, it’s hard to find a girl your height.

Have you ever looked at a couple and thought to yourself, “They just look mismatched?” You might see a woman who’s much taller than the man she’s with … or who’s so stunningly gorgeous that you might be tempted to say, “She’s way out of his league!”

My point is this: There are certain couples that we look at and say, “They’re just not compatible.” Sometimes we’re proven right when they have a bitter breakup six months later. At other times, we find ourselves 10 years down the road say, “Huh! I never thought that relationship would work, but I guess I was wrong. They’re still together and they seem happy enough.” Of course, we’re not the best judges of anyone else’s relationship—or even our own. So, let’s take a close look at what God’s Word teaches us about compatibility.

When we talk about compatibility in Christian circles, we usually quote 2 Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.”  When the apostle Paul wrote these words, he was speaking to Corinthian Christians who had allowed false teachers to come into their church and persuade them to water down their teaching. So, first and foremost, he was warning the Christians not to get so chummy with false teachers who could lead them away from Christ. However, this verse provides a timeless principle that applies to every relationship Christians are in—including business partnerships, dating relationships and marriage.

So, let’s take a closer look at the term “equally yoked.” When Paul used the term, he was referring back to Deuteronomy 22:10, where God gives the Jewish people the law, “Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together.” You might wonder, “What the heck kind of a law is that?” But as any third-world country farmer who doesn’t own a tractor can tell you, teaming up an ox and a donkey is a really bad idea. The average donkey weighs about 500 pounds. The average ox weighs about 2,000 pounds. How can you plow a straight furrow if you’ve got an animal on one side of the yoke that is four times heavier than the animal on the other side? You can’t. God knew they could not work together in harmony. So, He said, “Don’t yoke them together. You’re asking for trouble.”

Interestingly, there was one other problem with yoking an ox and a donkey together. According to Jewish dietary laws, an ox was a “clean” animal. The Jews were allowed to eat it. But they weren’t allowed to eat a donkey. It was an “unclean” animal. So, this obscure law about being unequally yoked wasn’t just for farmers.  It provided this timeless principle for all God’s followers: Those who are “clean” should never be yoked together in close relationships with those who are “unclean.” Or, to say it more simply, those who LOVE God should never enter partnerships with those who DON’T LOVE God.

When a believer marries an unbeliever, a game of spiritual tug of war begins, because they are unequally yoked. And guess who wins the game nine times out of 10? The unbeliever. Why? Because it’s the path of least resistance. It’s just easier for the believer to cave. It’s like the Old Sunday school illustration. One child stands on top of a chair while the other one stands on the floor. They join hands and start pulling. Who almost always wins? The child who’s pulling the other one down. What’s true of kids on chairs is equally true of Christians in marriages that are unequally yoked. The believer has already compromised by choosing a spouse who has turned their back on God. So, it’s pretty easy for that believer to compromise a bit more by turning his or her own back on God. Remember, it’s always easier to pull someone down than to pull someone up.

There is no doubt that when it comes to choosing a spouse, God commands us in Scripture to choose a fellow believer. Now, if you are already in an unequally yoked marriage, you’re probably wondering what God wants you to do. If you were a Christian on your wedding day and you knew your fiancé wasn’t a Christian, you need to humbly admit to God that you sinned and ask Him to forgive you. And regardless of whether you were a Christian on your wedding day or became a Christian at some later date, you need to follow what God tells you to do in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. Long story short: Don’t divorce your unbelieving spouse. Husbands, pray for your wife’s salvation. Wives, pray for your husband’s salvation. And ask God to open opportunities for you to lead your spouse to Christ so that you CAN be equally yoked.

Ultimately, a marriage is most compatible when we follow the principles established by God—the Creator of marriage. According to God’s Word, compatibility boils down to three things: values, beliefs and goals. The most successful, happy Christian marriages are those where a husband and wife are on the same page with their values, beliefs and goals. That’s what it truly means to be equally yoked.

Dane Davis is the pastor of Impact Christian Church in Victorville. His new book, “Buoyed Up: Jesus’ 8 Steps to an Unsinkable Life,” is available on Amazon in paperback, e-book and audiobook. Join us at Impact for Sunday services: in person at 9 a.m., or online at 10 a.m. on Facebook Live or YouTube. For more information, visit www.GreaterImpact.cc.