Christmas at the Movies: The Nativity Story

“But the angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus.’”

 – Luke 1:30-31

Over the years there have been many Bible-based movies that depict the birth of Christ 2,000 years ago. And I think the 2006 film The Nativity Story is one of the best. For starters, the actors who play Joseph and Mary are believable. The producer and director didn’t place supermodels or famous personalities in the lead roles. There was no attempt to boost box office ticket sales by casting Johnny Depp as Joseph or Carrie Underwood as Mary. And the movie doesn’t display award-winning cinematography or dazzling special effects. It just tells the simple, powerful story of Jesus’ birth.

We read in Luke 1:26-27 that God sent one of his premier messenger angels, Gabriel, to deliver a life-changing message to Mary. Gabriel had announced John the Baptist’s expected birth to John’s father, Zechariah, some six months earlier. And now Gabriel was ready to deliver some good news to Mary. She too would experience a miraculous pregnancy. Though she was a virgin, she would give birth to the Son of God.

Like Matthew, Luke declares that Mary was a virgin. In First Century Jewish culture, the term “virgin” usually referred to an unmarried Jewish girl who was fourteen years of age or younger. So, Mary was likely twelve or thirteen years old when the angel knocked her socks off with his groundbreaking announcement. And she had virtually no social status in Israel. Wealthy Jews held a higher social status than poor Jews, and Mary wasn’t wealthy. Jewish men were higher in the pecking order than Jewish women. And among women, married women held a higher social order than young maidens.

So without a doubt Mary—a poor, unmarried Jewish girl from the lowly town of Nazareth—was virtually at the bottom of the social pecking order. No wonder she was shocked when the angel suddenly appeared and greeted her with the words: “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”

Now, it’s important to take a closer look at the angel’s greeting to Mary in Matthew 1:28, because many Christians and Christian leaders have completely misinterpreted the angel’s words. To put it bluntly, the angel’s greeting—traditionally translated into English as “Hail, full of grace”— in no way indicates that Mary is someone Divine or worthy of worship. In fact, the word translated as “greetings” or “hail” is the Greek word “chairo,” which is a variation of the word “charis”: one of the most important words in the New Testament. Charis means “grace.” And grace is defined as “undeserved favor” or as the acronym “G-R-A-C-E—God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.”

Long story short: Gabriel greeted Mary with a word of grace. And when he followed that greeting with the words “you who are highly favored” or “full of grace,” the angel reiterated that Mary had received undeserved favor from God. Clearly the angel’s greeting in no way identifies Mary as a dispenser of God’s grace. She is merely a recipient of God’s grace. Grace was given to Mary by God. In no way had she earned it, and she didn’t have the ability to manufacture it. To claim otherwise is to distort the clear teaching of God’s word while heading down a slippery slope of false teaching.

Mary understood that she was a lowly human being, a sinner undeserving of God’s amazing grace. And she serves as a bright example of a humble servant who believed the word of the Lord and walked in obedience to His commands. Mary should be respected and her faith and obedience should be emulated. But she should never be lifted up on a Divine pedestal. Jesus alone is to be high and lifted up in our minds and hearts.

With that in mind, here are two marvelous lessons that we can learn from Mary. First, when the Lord offers you grace, receive it. Without a doubt, the people of Nazareth would have looked down on Mary once they discovered that she was pregnant before her wedding night. Her miraculous pregnancy did her no favors in the eyes of her neighbors and friends. But despite the social stigma that accompanied her faithful obedience to the Lord’s commands, she gladly received God’s grace anyway. In much the same way, God’s grace and our culture’s scorn await you as you faithfully obey God’s commands. I guarantee you that God has grace in store for you as you study His word, pray and live for Him each day. Yet at the same time, there are plenty of your acquaintances who will consider these priorities to be a complete waste of your time and energy. Will you obey God and pursue His grace anyway?

Second, when the Lord gives you a ministry opportunity, embrace it. Mary was blessed with an amazing ministry opportunity, the privilege of giving birth to Jesus Christ—God in flesh and Savior of the world. And Mary embraced it!  So too should you embrace ministry opportunities when the Lord opens the door for you to serve Him and His Church in meaningful ways. The Lord’s open doors should never be ignored, even on Christmas day. So, as you celebrate Christmas this weekend with church family, will you be looking for God’s open door? And once you see it, will you do what Mary did: Walk through it? I hope so. 

Merry Christmas from all of us at First Christian Church! We hope you’ll join us
for our Christmas Morning Worship Service Sunday at 10 a.m.
For more information, visit www.fccvv.com.

Christmas at the Movies: A Christmas Carol

“When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him.”

– Matthew 2:3

Since it was first published in 1843, Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol has been adapted into dozens of different movies, TV specials, stage plays and musicals. Even the Muppets and Mickey Mouse have their own versions of the Christmas classic. As you may remember, the tale begins on a cold Christmas Eve in London, England exactly seven years after the death of Jacob Marley, Ebenezer Scrooge’s business partner. Scrooge is a grumpy, penny-pinching old codger who is described by Charles Dickens as “a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner.”

Scrooge hates Christmas. But at home that night, Scrooge is visited by Jacob Marley’s ghost, who is forever cursed to wander the earth dragging a load of chains, forged during a lifetime of greed and selfishness. Marley tells Scrooge that he has one chance to avoid the same fate. During the night he will be visited by three spirits. He must listen to them or be cursed to carry chains of his own that are much heavier than Marley’s. And just as Marley warned him, one-by-one Scrooge is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. And as Scrooge is given a bird’s eye view of his past, present and future Christmases, his whole world is rattled.

King Herod’s world was rattled in much the same way shortly after Jesus’ birth—the very first Christmas—2,000 years ago. In Matthew 2, we are introduced to Herod the Great, who ruled Israel for thirty-three years before the birth of Christ. And we learn much about King Herod from the writings of two First Century historians, Tacitus and Josephus. For example, they tell us that Herod was a very accomplished yet violent leader. He poured liberal amounts of time and money into rebuilding the Jewish temple in Jerusalem. And he undertook other awe-inspiring building projects in and around Israel.

Yet at the same time Herod was a vindictive, murderous thug. He was insanely jealous of anyone who might threaten his reign or rule, including his own family members. Herod murdered his favorite wife and three of his sons whom he suspected of threatening his rule. At one point Herod murdered 45 Jewish noblemen, and on another occasion, he ordered his soldiers to drown the high priest Aristobolus III in one of Herod’s swimming pools.

So, when the wise men strolled into town with their entourage and enthusiastically asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews?” you’d better believe that Herod was disturbed. He was shaken; he was rattled. King Herod’s insecurities and fears and jealousy and paranoia were suddenly stirred up as the Magi innocently asked their question about Jesus. And the citizens of Jerusalem were also disturbed. They had learned over the years that when King Herod was disturbed, heads would roll.

After leaving Jerusalem, the Magi followed the star to the house where Jesus (by now several months old) was. The Magi worshiped the Christ child and gave him three gifts: gold, incense and myrrh. Sadly, King Herod was so insanely jealous and his heart was so hard that he ordered the extermination of every baby boy in and around Bethlehem. He issued this order in the futile attempt to kill Jesus. But by the time Herod’s orders were carried out, Jesus, Joseph and Mary were already several miles outside of town.

There are many lessons that we can learn from King Herod about what not to do at Christmas. I’ll highlight three. First, don’t be rattled at Christmas. Without a doubt, many of us do get rattled at Christmas. With only a matter of days until Christmas, we’re troubled by the number of things that we still have left to do. We have the unsettling feeling that we won’t get it all done. Our nerves are shaken and our fears are stirred. I believe God is telling us, “Stop it!” Each of us needs to stop and smell the Rose—the one, single Rose at the heart of Christmas—Jesus Christ, born to save the world. Most everything else is just clutter.

Second, don’t be outwitted this Christmas. The wisest, most intelligent thing we can do this Christmas season is to pursue and worship Christ. But our sinful nature and godless culture try to dumb down our Christmas celebration at every turn. Just about every Christmas TV commercial, Christmas movie and public school Christmas program tries to convince us that Christmas is just fine without Christ. Christmas is about trees and lights and mistletoe. Christmas is about presents and food and egg nog. But we as Christians know that Christmas is about so much more. Christmas is about Jesus Christ—born to save the world. Therefore, we should never allow ourselves to be outwitted by our culture’s lie that Jesus is expendable at Christmas. Make no mistake about it: Without Christ, there is no Christmas.

Finally, don’t be blinded by your anger this Christmas. Many of us dread the thought of sitting around the Christmas dinner table with Aunt Martha or Uncle Sid. They drive us up the wall and grate on our last nerve. This being the case, many of us lug around resentment and anger at Christmas. And when we do we are blinded to peace on earth and good will toward men. But just like Ebenezer Scrooge, we need to repent of our sin and surrender our anger to Christ at Christmas. And like Scrooge we must celebrate Christmas well by keeping Christ at the very heart of Christmas and celebrating him each day of the season. If we do, Tiny Tim’s words will come to pass. God will “bless us, every one.”

Dane Davis is the Pastor of First Christian Church in Victorville. For more information,

visit www.fccvv.com  and join us this Christmas season—Sundays at 10 am.

Christmas at the Movies: It’s a Wonderful Life!

“When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.” - Matthew 1:24

In the Christmas classic “It’s a Wonderful Life,” George Bailey is a young dreamer who lives in the sleepy little town of Bedford Falls. He oversees a small building and loan that his father founded. George hates the building and loan business, but after his father dies and his younger brother moves out of the area, he feels obligated to put his personal dreams on hold to keep the family business running. He eventually marries a beautiful girl named Mary, and they have four cute kids: two boys and two girls. Despite his unexpected change of course, George is on top of the world. But suddenly his world comes crashing down one day when his coworker misplaces $8,000, and a warrant is issued for George’s arrest.

All seems hopeless for George—just as it must have seemed hopeless for Joseph of Nazareth in the first chapter of Matthew. We read in Matthew 1:18 that Mary and Joseph were pledged to be married. More specifically, they were betrothed. That means they were legally “husband and wife,” but Mary still lived with her parents and hadn’t consummated her marriage with Joseph. Although Nazareth was a podunk town located in the dull region of Galilee, Joseph must have been on top of the world. The wedding ceremony was at hand, and he would soon walk into his own home hand-in-hand with the prettiest girl in town.

But suddenly his world came crashing down when he discovered that his beautiful Mary was pregnant. God’s word doesn’t tell us how Joseph learned of Mary’s pregnancy. Perhaps she told him right away, or perhaps her bulging waistline revealed her secret. But regardless of how he learned of Mary’s pregnancy, it’s clear from Matthew 1:19 that Joseph had made up his mind: He was going to divorce Mary. The only logical explanation for her pregnancy was that she had committed adultery. Although Joseph was devastated, he had decided that divorcing her quietly was the most loving and honorable thing for him to do.

But a visit from an angel turned Joseph’s world upside down, just as it did for George Bailey. According to Matthew 1:20-21, “An angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.’”

Can you imagine how thunderstruck Joseph must have been by the angel’s words? What the angel said was crazy. It defied all logic. Virgins don’t get pregnant. Teenage girls don’t give birth to “God with us.” And it made no sense that he—a blue collar, living paycheck-to-paycheck carpenter—would be the earthly father of the promised Messiah.

But Joseph believed the word of the Lord and obeyed God anyway. After the dream ended, he got up and did what the angel had commanded him to do. He “took Mary home as his wife,” but he didn’t consummate the marriage until after Jesus was born. Righteous man that he was, Joseph put God’s needs, Mary’s needs and his miraculously-conceived son’s needs above his own personal needs. Despite the hardships to come and the stigma that he would certainly bear for having married a pregnant woman, Joseph obeyed the word of the Lord.

As I consider the wonderful example of Joseph, three life lessons come to mind. For starters, Lesson #1: Good things can come out of Victorville. In Jesus’ day, Nazareth had a bad reputation. Even one of Jesus’ apostles asked the question, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Similarly, many people ask, “Can anything good come out of Victorville? Can anything good come out of Adelanto? Can anything good come out of Apple Valley?” And God answers, “Absolutely!” Just as good things came out of Nazareth when God was involved, good things can come out of the Victor Valley when we, like Joseph, walk in humble obedience to the Lord’s commands.

Lesson #2: Maintaining a good reputation with God takes precedence over maintaining a good reputation with man. God has called us to live lives of integrity and, as much as possible, to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. But there are times when choosing to obey God will tarnish our reputation with people. So be it! Just like Joseph, we must always choose to do what is right in God’s eyes. We must obey God, not man. Ultimately, our highest aim as Christians is to be God-pleasers, not man-pleasers.

Lesson #3: Live and celebrate the wonderful life that God created you to live—a life of loving, trusting and obeying Him. The bridge is a pivotal place in the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The first time George stands on the bridge, he is at the end of his rope, feeling completely hopeless. At the end of the movie, he’s back on the bridge but has a new lease on life. What changed? He is still $8,000 in the hole. He still has a warrant out for his arrest. His car is still smashed against a tree. So what changed? His perspective changed. God opened George’s eyes to see the glorious truth that—despite his hardships and difficulties--God had blessed him with a wonderful life. The same was true of Joseph, and the same is true of you. My friends, despite your problems, ask God to open your eyes so that you can see what He sees: Your God-given life is, in a word, “wonderful.”

Dane Davis is the Pastor of First Christian Church in Victorville. For more information,

visit www.fccvv.com  and join us this Christmas season—Sundays at 10am.

Too Rich to Make It to Heaven?

“‘Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God!  It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God…. With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.’” 
- Mark 10:24-25, 27

Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem when it happened, and Matthew, Mark and Luke all document the account. A man ran up to Jesus, fell on his knees in front of him and asked him: “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” In other words, the man wanted to know what he must do in order to make it to heaven someday. Matthew tells us that the man was young. Luke tells us that the man was a ruler, and all three gospel writers tell us that the man was rich--very rich.

So, the rich young ruler wanted Jesus to tell him what he must do to make it to heaven. Did he need to make ten pilgrimages to Jerusalem? Did he need to give alms to twenty beggars? Did he need to have perfect attendance at synagogue? Certainly there were a few hoops that he needed to jump through, something specific he could do to secure his ticket to heaven. So, how did Jesus answer this young tycoon’s question?

Surprisingly, Jesus didn’t at first. Jesus started by responding to the man’s question with a question of his own: “Why do you call me good? No one is good—except God alone.” First and foremost, Jesus wanted the rich young ruler to understand that nobody on this planet is truly “good.” God alone is “good.” Next, Jesus pointed the man to the Ten Commandments, specifically commandments five through ten: Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud (a paraphrase of the tenth commandment “Do not covet”), and honor your father and mother.

The young man must have been grinning from ear to ear as he responded, “Teacher, all these I have kept since I was a boy.” Jesus had just told him what he already knew: He was very good at following rules and obeying laws, and if law-keeping could possibly get anyone to heaven, it would get him there. But then Jesus burst the rich young ruler’s bubble as he turned to him and lovingly said, “One thing you lack. Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” Mark tells us in Mark 10:23, “At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.”

As the rich young man walked away Jesus spoke these infamous words: “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” The twelve disciples couldn’t believe their ears. They knew without a doubt that it is impossible to squeeze a camel through the eye of a needle. So, in shock, they asked Jesus, “Who then can be saved?”

With this simple statement the disciples were expressing a popular belief in their day, the belief that everything in life comes easier for the rich, including salvation. The disciples (just like most of us today) were convinced that life was much easier for the rich. For example, it was easier for the rich to put food on the table, to pay the bills, to cover medical expenses, to find friends, and to receive justice in a court of law. And in their minds it seemed clear that if all of these other things in life came easier for the rich, so too did salvation. After all, the rich could afford to give extra large tithes. The rich could afford to sacrifice as many animals as necessary to atone for sin. The rich could afford to bribe rabbis or priests or whoever else they needed to bribe in order to receive a “Fast Pass” to heaven.

But in a few quick seconds Jesus blew that faulty theology out of the water. Jesus revealed this truth: When it comes to heaven, it is impossible for a rich man to get there. Why? Because neither the rich man nor the poor man are truly “good.” Both the rich man and the poor man are sinners who stand guilty before a holy God, and God’s justice requires that they be punished. Therefore, there are no hoops that any person (rich or poor) can jump through in order to make it to heaven. Working our own way to heaven is “impossible.” Earning heaven is “impossible.” Jumping through enough hoops to make it to heaven is “impossible.”

But not with God. With God all things are possible. Jesus provides a way for both the rich and the poor to make it to heaven: by God’s grace through faith in Jesus Christ. Ultimately, this is the truth that the rich young ruler refused to accept. He was prepared to do whatever it took to secure his own salvation as long as it didn’t require him to rely upon someone else. He was willing to kneel before Jesus, but he refused to relinquish control of his life to Jesus. He walked by sight and refused to walk by faith. So, he made his choice. On that day he had to choose one God to serve: Jesus or his money.  Sadly, he chose his money.  And he went away in despair having turned his back on the only one in the universe who could secure his place in heaven: Jesus. I hope and pray that you won’t do the same.

Dane Davis is the Lead Pastor of First Christian Church in Victorville. To hear Pastor Dane’s messages or for more information about the church, visit www.fccvv.com. Services can be viewed on the church's Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/fccvictorville.

A Wife’s Respect (Part 2)

“Each husband also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33

Although I had a few minor scuffles in grade school, it wasn’t until junior high that I found myself in an actual “fight.” I was in eighth grade, and Anthony—the most popular kid in my class—had been pushing my buttons for several months. His teasing had become a daily nuisance, and one day in the locker room I decided that I had had enough. After one of his wisecracks, I gave him a hearty push. I expected that to be the end of it, but clearly Anthony had other intentions. Before I knew it, his right fist was getting up close and personal with my upper lip.

I tried to explain to Anthony that I wasn’t interested in fighting him, but his fists had already found a new home. And besides, Anthony’s buddies were all watching and liked what they saw. Well, a guy can only take so many blows to the chops. My adrenaline kicked in, and before I knew it Anthony was on the ground and the fight was over. To be honest, I’m not quite sure how he got on the ground, but regardless—it provided a great opportunity for me to make a quick exit without too much embarrassment.

As a thirteen-year-old teenage boy, I could only stomach a certain amount of disrespect. And the same is true of me today (although I have learned to respond without my fists.) I’m convinced that it’s the way that God made me, the way that He wired me as a man. Just as a diesel engine will severely malfunction when fueled by a tank full of unleaded, a man will always malfunction when fueled by a steady flow of disrespect. Conversely, boys will pour countless hours into a sport or school project in order to receive their father’s praise. Young men will sacrifice multiple evenings and weekends in order to garner their boss’s approval. And a husband will climb any mountain or cross any river to hear his damsel in distress speak the two words of heartfelt admiration: “My hero.”

How much stronger and healthier marriages would be if wives grasped and responded to this critical truth: Men feed off of respect. God knew this full well when He gave this command to wives in Ephesians 5:33: “The wife must respect her husband.” As the Creator of men, women and marriage, the Lord understands better than anyone that when a wife withholds respect from her husband, bad things happen in a marriage. When certain husbands feel disrespected, they withdraw. Others react in anger. Still others become passive-aggressive, and the husband withholds love from his wife that is as critical to her well-being as respect is to his. 

God has called each Christian wife to demonstrate a healthy respect for her husband as a natural expression of her respect for God. Before urging wives to respect their husbands’ authority, God’s word first gives us all (both men and women) this general command in Ephesians 5:21: “Submit to one another out of respect for Christ.” Therefore, a wife is told to respect her husband as a natural expression of her respect for Jesus Christ.

Long story short: when a wife refuses to respect her husband, she is—at a deeper level—refusing to respect Jesus Christ. Just as it is impossible to demonstrate love for God while demonstrating hate for people, it is similarly impossible for a woman to exhibit respect for Christ while exhibiting perpetual disrespect for her husband. Once again: Respect for one is a natural expression of respect for the other.

Oh, I can hear the “buts” coming. “But, Dane you don’t understand; my husband doesn’t do anything that’s respectable!” Or, “But my husband doesn’t deserve my respect!” Or, “But my husband disrespects me!” While it may be true that your husband disrespects you and does plenty of things that are not respectable, if you look carefully, I guarantee you that you will discover certain things that your husband says and does that are worthy of respect. And when you discover them, you should draw attention to them—not by saying, “Well, it’s about time you did something right, you big moron!”—but by saying something like, “Great job! You hit that one out of the park. You’re really good at that.” 

I guarantee you that your husband will respond much more positively to your praise and encouragement than he will to your nagging, complaining or criticism. You will discover that as you praise your husband for what he does “right,” he will look for more opportunities to do what’s right. Many a Christian wife can testify that when she’s made the conscious decision to show respect for her husband’s position in the family while also targeting his respectable words and actions with praise and encouragement, he stepped up to the plate and became the respectable husband for which she had prayed. 

Believe me: Respecting one’s husband is a critical expression of one’s respect for Christ while at the same time being a key building block of a healthy and happy marriage. Just as I could only stomach so much disrespect from Anthony, I would only be able to stomach so much disrespect from my wife. As a man, I am—to a large extent—fueled by respect. The same is true of every husband. So wives, give your husband the fuel that he needs to function properly in your marriage relationship. And don’t be surprised if, in time, he becomes the loving husband you’ve always known he could be. 

Dane Davis is the Lead Pastor of First Christian Church in Victorville. To hear Pastor Dane’s messages or for more information about the church, visit www.fccvv.com .

A Wife’s Respect (Part 1 )

“Each husband also must love his wife as he loves himself,

and the wife must respect her husband.”  – Ephesians 5:33

According to an old Ethiopian folktale, there was once a young married woman who became fed up with her husband. Having given up all hope for her marriage, she approached a local judge and asked him to grant her a divorce. Being a wise old man, he chose to probe her a bit. “A divorce!” he exclaimed. “Don’t you love your husband?” “Of course I love him,” she responded, “but we just can’t get along. So we must get a divorce.” The old man had an idea. He asked the young bride, “If I were able to give you magic medicine that would help you two get along much better, would you take it?” “Absolutely,” she responded. “I’d do anything to save my marriage.” “Great,” said the judge. “I’ll just need one key ingredient to make the medicine: a single hair from the tail of the lion that lives down by the river. I’m not sure how you’ll get it, but you must find a way.”

The woman made a beeline to the river, but as soon as she heard the lion roar, she turned in fear and ran home as fast as she could. But the next day she returned to the river with a sack of raw meat. She got as close as two hundred yards from the lion, quickly dropped the bag of meat and ran home. The next day she returned with another bag of meat and got as close as one hundred yards; the following day—fifty yards; and the day after that—twenty yards. After a few short weeks the lion was eating the meat out of her hand, and she was able to carefully reach back and pull a single hair from his tail.

As fast as she could, she rushed to the old judge and exclaimed, “I did it! I did it! Here is the hair from the ferocious lion’s tail.” The judge proudly smiled and said, “Securing this hair took an enormous amount of patience, courage and determination. Now, if you put the same amount of patience, courage and determination into your marriage that you put into securing this lion’s hair, you and your husband will enjoy a long and happy marriage. The magic medicine your marriage needs was with you all along.”

The struggles of this young couple are common to marriages everywhere. And the words of wisdom offered by the judge are just as relevant to us in America as they were to the young couple in Ethiopia. Many husbands and wives throw in the divorce towel far too early, claiming that they just can’t get along. However, more times than not, it’s not that they “can’t” get along but that they don’t try hard enough to get along. Sadly, they aren’t willing to put in the necessary effort. You see, there is no magic formula for a strong and happy marriage. It is—among other things—the result of patience, courage and determination disguised as hard work.

In this day and age when so many marriages aren’t “for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health ‘til death do us part,” we need to get back to basics. We need to return to the Creator of marriage and read His marriage owner’s manual once again. In Ephesians 5:22-33, God gives specific instructions to husbands and wives about their God-given responsibilities within marriage.

Let’s focus on one of the wife’s God-given responsibilities: to respect her husband. I find it very interesting that in Ephesians 5:33, husbands are commanded to “love” their wives, but wives are told to “respect” their husbands. Over the years I’ve had the opportunity to ask many husbands, “Would you rather hear your wife tell you, ‘I love you’ or ‘I respect you’?” Guess how most men have responded? By far the most common response from husbands has been, “I respect you.”

Because men are wired much differently than women, husbands have different needs and tend to be motivated differently than their wives. To put it simply: most wives feed off of love, but most husbands feed off of respect. This is certainly true in my own marriage. I enjoy hearing my wife tell me that she loves me. But when she looks me in the eye and says, “Dane, I respect you,” I light up like the Fourth of July.

And God understands this reality better than anyone. After all, He created both “male and female” and knows us inside and out. He knows that in order for a married couple to be happy and healthy, the wife needs to receive a healthy dose of daily love from her husband, and the husband needs to receive an ample amount of respect from his wife. Love and respect, respect and love: they are two critical ingredients in any healthy marriage.

When marriages tailspin into dysfunction, it’s often the result of the husband withholding love from his wife and the wife responding by withholding respect from her husband. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (author of Love & Respect) refers to this as “The Crazy Cycle.” Withholding respect leads to withholding love which leads to withholding more respect which leads to more withholding of love. You get the idea. Ultimately, the crazy cycle can only be stopped when one of the spouses intentionally chooses to stop it. Either the husband chooses to love his wife despite her disrespect, or the wife chooses to respect her husband despite his withholding of love.

Perhaps you and your spouse are experiencing this crazy cycle. If so, there is hope. You must recognize your contribution to the craziness and choose to stop participating in it today. Husband, love your wife in tangible, meaningful ways even when she is disrespecting you up one side and down the other. Wife, communicate respect to your husband even when his love for you is as cold as a winter breeze in the Klondike. Ultimately, God’s ways are always the best ways. If your marriage strategies haven’t been working, then take God’s strategies for a spin. If there is a true lion’s hair that will transform your marriage, it’s love and respect.

Dane Davis is the Lead Pastor of First Christian Church in Victorville. To hear Pastor Dane’s messages or for more information about the church, visit www.fccvv.com.

Is It Too Late for America?

“This is what the LORD says: I am going to bring disaster on this place and its people … because they have forsaken Me and … provoked Me to anger by all that their hands have made. My anger will be poured out on this place and will not be quenched…. [But] because you humbled yourself before Me … I have heard you, declares the LORD…. Your eyes will not see all the disaster I am going to bring on this place and on those who live here.” - 2 Chronicles 34:24-28

It was circa 625 B.C. The setting was Judah, and the recipient of God’s message was King Josiah. The northern ten tribes of Israel had been conquered 100 years earlier by the kingdom of Assyria. Although Israel was God’s chosen nation, God’s patience had reached its limit. He could only stomach so much idol worship, murder, sexual perversion, blasphemy and injustice.  So, God’s judgment had come in the form of the invading Assyrian army.

And now, Judah—which contained the two remaining tribes of Israel in the south—was heading for similar destruction. Like her Israelite family members in the north, Judah had experienced a moral tailspin. During his lifetime, King Josiah was able to turn the tide, ushering in a great spiritual revival. Unfortunately, his efforts were too little too late. During the reign of Josiah’s son, the mighty army of Babylon swept into Jerusalem and captured the city. It was the first of three Babylonian invasions that would strike Judah over a 20-year period.

The fact is, prior to Josiah’s ascension to the throne, Judah had already crossed a spiritual line in the sand that had sealed her fate. The people’s sin had mushroomed to such an extent that God’s judgment had to fall upon the nation. Even the godly Josiah could not alter this divine imperative.

With this in mind, I’ve wondered in recent years if the United States of America has crossed a similar line in the sand. While it is encouraging to know that a growing number of Americans are “pro life,” that doesn’t cleanse our hands of the blood from the 58 million abortions that have taken place in America since 1973. American churches spend millions of dollars sending missionaries around the world, but sadly, American businessmen spend billions of dollars peddling pornographic smut around the world. Although many U.S. churches are faithfully teaching God’s word and standing firm in the faith, far too many others are caving in to societal pressure to be soft on sin and firm on political correctness.

I am convinced that a major spiritual revival is on the horizon, a revival that will sweep through churches like wildfire, setting the faith of Christians ablaze and resulting in the conversion of millions of people across the country. I have been praying for revival for over fifteen years, and I am convinced it’s coming in the near future. Yet I wonder … even if such a revival turns our nation back to God, will it be too little too late? Have we, like Judah, already crossed a spiritual threshold? Will God’s judgment fall upon our country anyway?

If we have not yet passed the point of no return, it’s clear that we are quickly moving in that direction and have no time to lose. Christians must do here in America what God instructed King Solomon to do in ancient Israel. In 2 Chronicles 7:14, God laid out a four-step process for ushering in a national spiritual revival. #1: We must humble ourselves. We have to honestly confess: We have become an arrogant nation. We have banned the Bible from our public schools. We have forcibly removed the Ten Commandments from our courthouses, and we have created our own self-serving morality. The first step to usher in revival is to get off our high horse and down on our knees before our holy and all-powerful God.

And once we are on our knees, #2: We must pray. Christians, we need to spend more time praying for our political leaders than we do criticizing them. Pray for them to be humble. Pray for them to courageously stand on the timeless truths of God’s word. Pray for them to be forgiven for their sin and follow Christ as they lead us.

#3: We must seek God’s face. We need to make sure that our prayers are not all about “Gimme, gimme, gimme.” Seeking God’s face involves hungering and thirsting for His presence, not just hungering and thirsting for the stuff His hands can give us.

#4: We must turn from our wicked ways. Without repentance—true repentance—there is no forgiveness of sin. And without forgiveness of sin, revival will never come. Repentance is never just a matter of feeling sorry for our sin. Repentance involves acting upon our sorrow. It’s not enough to just be sorry Roe vs. Wade was passed; we must work to overturn it. It’s not enough to just be sorry that marriage has been cheapened in our country; we must work to strengthen it. It’s not enough to lament over how godless our public schools have become; we must strive to turn the tide by standing up for our kids’ God-given rights to pray, read Scripture and share their faith at school.

I hold out hope that there are enough Christians in this country who will cry out to God for a revival that will turn the tide. I hold out hope that there are enough of us who will boldly proclaim God’s word, humbly repent of our sins, and prayerfully restore a solid moral foundation in our homes, churches, schools and government. If there are, there is great hope for our nation. Won’t you be one of the many who helps pave the way for revival in America? 

Dane Davis is the Lead Pastor of First Christian Church in Victorville. To hear Pastor Dane’s messages or for more information about the church, visit www.fccvv.com .