"He who finds a wife does what is good and receives favor from the LORD." - Proverbs 18:22
Marriage is good. It sounds like a no-brainer, but sadly
it’s not. A growing number of American adults—especially young adults—have come
to the conclusion that marriage is expendable. Many view marriage as an
outdated, archaic institution that needs to be redefined or scrapped
altogether.
While most young adults wouldn’t go so far as to say that
marriage is “bad,” the statistics speak for themselves: Over the past fifty
years marriage rates among young adults (20 to 34 years of age) have declined
significantly. One recent study discovered that almost 70% of American men
under the age of 35 were unmarried. Many young adults avoid marriage like the
plague, choosing instead to pursue inferior options like cohabitation or
one-night stands.
Consider this: There is a growing men’s movement in our
country called “Men Going Their Own Way,” or MGTOW. Men who have joined this
movement believe women are not worth the trouble. They are not opposed to
casual sexual encounters with women, but they refuse to commit to any woman.
They believe the cost of doing so is too high. MGTOW men pride themselves on
not being tied down by a girlfriend, and they adamantly reject Valentine’s Day
and other societal pressures to be chivalrous and dote on their ladies. In
their view, boxes of chocolates and bouquets of flowers are a complete waste of
money.
Does this movement sound ridiculous to you? It should. But
it’s symptomatic of a deeper problem. Let’s face it: Our culture celebrates
selfish individuality and narcissism while ignoring service and sacrifice. And
the repercussions of doing so have been devastating for the American family. A
growing number of children are being raised in single parent homes because men
have chosen to be sperm donors instead of fathers. Research is conclusive that
the likelihood of juvenile delinquency, drug use, gang activity, promiscuity,
and dropping out of high school all increase in homes where the father is
absent. There should be no doubt that alternatives to traditional marriage have
proven themselves to be abysmal failures.
But what does the Bible say? In Genesis 2:18-25, we read of
how God created the very first marriage. Many people these days seek to discard
marriage without stopping to consider how its Creator designed it in the first
place. How foolish! Marriage is a magnificent creation of God, and we need to
embrace its original design and purpose as described in Genesis 1 and 2. We
discover two created purposes for marriages in these two chapters:
companionship and bearing children.
In Genesis 2:18 God focuses on the first of these two purposes
as He says, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable
for him.” The Hebrew word translated as “helper” describes one who comes
alongside another for support, for assistance and to shore up his/her
weaknesses. Bottom line: Adam was incomplete on his own. By himself he couldn’t
be all that God had created Him to be or do all that God had commanded him to
do. He needed a perfect companion to provide him with unparalleled fellowship,
love and sexual intimacy.
This leads us to the second created purpose for marriage: bearing
children. God gave Adam and Eve this command in Genesis 1:28: “Be fruitful and
increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” This command to have
children and fill the earth was so important to God that He repeated it several
times in the Book of Genesis. He reiterated this command to Noah in Genesis
8:17, Genesis 9:1 and Genesis 9:7. And in Genesis 11—after people had refused
to be fruitful and multiply—the Lord diversified human languages at the Tower of Babel in order to make it so.
You see, people in ancient times resisted God’s command to
be fruitful and multiply. And that same resistance is persistent in America today. A
growing number of adults who can have children have chosen not to have children,
viewing them to be an unnecessary annoyance, burden and restrictor of freedom.
Meanwhile, far too many women have chosen to engage in promiscuous sex, ending
up with three or four children who all have different dads. How far we have
strayed from God’s original design for marriage and the family!
Contrary to popular belief, marriage is not expendable and
children are not an unfortunate byproduct of sexual freedom. Quite the
opposite: A child is a gift, a joy and a blessing from God. But they are a
blessing intended for a committed husband and wife who can raise the child
together. Marriage was designed by God to provide a husband and wife with
unparalleled companionship and to provide a stable and nurturing environment
within which to bear and rear children.
Sadly, as the days go by, many young men and women continue
to choose cohabitation, one-night stands and “Going Their Own Way” as alternatives
to marriage. But these have always been and always will be inferior
alternatives. Marriage is good. Having children is good. And they are designed
by God to go hand-in-hand.
Dane Davis is the lead pastor of First Christian Church of
Victorville and the author of Holy Huldah! Lessons You Should Never Forget from Bible Characters You've Never Heard Of. To hear Pastor Dane's
messages for for more information about the church, visit www.fccvv.com.