You’re Driving Me Crazy!

 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29

Let’s be honest with each other: Sometimes our family members drive us up the wall. I love my wife and kids, but at times the stay-at-home order really tested my patience. If you ask me, I’ll tell you that I’m an easy guy to live with. But lately—for some reason—my wife has thought about joining a convent and my kids want to move in with Brandma. Perhaps I’m not as easy to live with as I thought.

According to James 1:4, God sends His followers trials in order to help us become more mature and complete. And one of the trials He gives us every day is the “relationship trial.” Relationships at home, church, work, and school are incubators for growth. And the fact is: We will never become spiritually mature until we learn how to maintain our sanity in our relationships.

Consider this: When you say, “So-and-so is driving me crazy!” that statement says more about your immaturity than it does about the other person. Why? Because without your permission, your “annoying” family member couldn’t drive you anywhere. But when you and I are immature, we allow family, friends and even perfect strangers to drive us from zero to crazy in five seconds or less. 

The more immature you are, the more you’ll be annoyed by others around you. So, one of the secrets to maintaining your sanity in your relationships is to grow up—becoming more and more like Jesus. To whatever extent you become more like Christ in your relationships, to that same extent you’ll be at peace in your relationships.

About five years ago, Thom Rainier, a popular and respected church leader and consultant, posted a survey on Twitter. He asked church leaders to share some of the silly things that Christians in their churches had argued about. In the days that followed, he was blown away by the number of responses. One church’s leaders argued about the “appropriate length” of the worship leader’s beard. Another group of Christians fussed over what type of green beans should be served at church events. Yet another church argued about whether or not it’s a sin to serve “deviled” eggs at church, while two other churches argued about whether or not to switch coffee brands. (Believe it or not, some Christians left one of the churches because they didn’t like the coffee that was chosen.)

We laugh about some of these stupid, childish arguments that took place in actual churches. But, actually, we should cry! After all, the Church of Jesus Christ proclaims the Living God and the message of salvation to a lost and dying world. But far too often our petty squabbles push people away from the Church and bring shame to God. Do you think for a moment that any of these church battles mentioned above drew people closer to Christ? Do you think that non-Christians flocked to the church when they learned that its leaders were arguing about deviled eggs? Do you think that Jesus was glorified by the battles fought over green beans and coffee? Hardly!

We have to remember that the world is watching us and making judgments about the Church and Christ based on our how we treat each other. So, whether we are at home, church, work or school, we must be careful to treat each other in a way that honors God and draws people to Christ. Husbands and wives, never forget that people hear how you speak to each other in public, and they take note that you are Christians. Parents, non-Christians listen to how you speak to your kids and grandkids at WinCo and take note that you are followers of Christ. The world is watching and listening.

God’s word tells us in Ephesians 4:29: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” The word “unwholesome” is a translation of a Greek term that was used in Jesus’ day to describe stinky, rotting fish. Isn’t that a powerful word picture? Jesus Christ tells his followers—you and me—“You should never have stinky, rotting fish come out of your mouths. Your harsh, silly, immature arguments are like stinky fish to God. Your criticism is like stinky fish to God. And your grumbling and complaining are like stinky fish to God.”

Would you agree that there’s far too much stinky fish in our churches? In our workplaces? On social media? In our political campaigns? And in our homes? One of the reasons our family members are driving us crazy during COVID is because there is too much stinky fish in our homes. Our homes should be a consistent contrast to the petty arguments, criticism and judgment that are so prevalent outside our four walls. Our homes should be a place where we build each other up according to each family member’s needs. Our homes should be a place where our words benefit those who listen.

Perhaps God is leading you to have a heart-to-heart with your family today. If so, I encourage you to humble yourself before you family—sharing Ephesians 4:29 with them and confessing that you yourself have been guilty of speaking words that have torn down instead of built up. Ask your family to join you in drawing a line in the sand today: committing to eliminate silly arguments, harsh criticism and judgment from your home. Make a commitment to encourage each other, build each other up according to each person’s needs and speak words that benefit those who listen. If you and your family commit to living out Ephesians 4:29 every day, is there any doubt that you’ll be saying far less often, “You’re driving me crazy!”?

Dane Davis is the Pastor of Impact Christian Church. Please join us for our live outdoor worship service Sundays at 9 a.m. at 17746 George Blvd. in Victorville. Or, join us online at 10 a.m. on our YouTube channel (Impact Christian Church) or on Facebook.

God, I Can’t Handle this Stress!

“Be careful, keep calm and don’t be afraid. Do not lose heart.” - Isaiah 7:4

I heard about a man who had recently retired. But his “golden years” weren’t very golden. He was having chest pains, and his blood pressure was through the roof. After prescribing some medications, the doctor asked to speak with the man’s wife. Once the husband left the room, the doctor told her that her husband’s stress level was way too high, and he would be dead in six months if she didn’t help lower his stress at home. The doctor recommended that she cook his favorite meals every day, do all the housework and give him back rubs before bed. On the drive home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor said. She responded, “He said you’re going to die!”

That husband had a lot of stress in his life. But I’m sure his stress levels would pale compared to the stress we’ve been dealing with over the past five months. During the COVID pandemic, our stress level has gone WAY up. Just for a simple trip to the grocery store, we have to make sure we don’t forget our face mask. We search for a cart that’s been sanitized in the past five minutes. We try not to pass strangers too closely in the aisles. We keep our distance from others in the check-out lines. And when family and friends get sick, it’s even worse. Recently it’s been taking upward of 10 days to get the results back on a COVID test, and that 10-day wait can feel like an eternity.

Meanwhile, when we turn on the news, it sounds like our nation is falling apart. Businesses and courthouses are being looted and burned. Police officers and federal agents are being assaulted. And because it’s an election year, our politicians are at each others’ throats. All that to say: This is a very stressful time in which to live. And many of us feel like shouting out: “God, I can’t handle this stress!”

Back in 735 BC, King Ahaz was pretty stressed out, too. This was when the nation of Israel was split in two: the kingdom of Israel to the north, and the kingdom of Judah to the south. Judah was led by King Ahaz, who didn’t fear God or obey His commands. His M.O. was to do whatever he felt like doing without giving a thought to what God thought about it. That seemed to work out all right in the early part of his reign, when times were good. But when a crisis hit, his stress level went through the roof.

King Pekah, the leader of Northern Israel, had teamed up with King Rezin of Aram to conquer Jerusalem. Rezin and Pekah couldn’t break through the city walls—but they were starting to break the people’s spirit. King Ahaz and the citizens of Jerusalem were worried and scared, and they were starting to buckle under the stress of it all. Their hearts “were shaken as the trees of the forest are shaken by the wind” (v. 2). But then God spoke to Ahaz through the prophet Isaiah, giving him four commands that God echoes to each of His followers who feel stressed: “Be careful, keep calm and don’t be afraid. Do not lose heart because of these two smoldering stubs of firewood” (v4).

When you’re stressed out, remember the four commands of God contained in that great verse:

1. Be careful. When we’re stressed, it’s easy for our minds to wander into dangerous territory.  Be careful!  When we’re stressed, it’s tempting to say, “What the heck!” and do stupid stuff that we normally would never do. Getting stoned … driving recklessly … having an affair … maxing out our credit cards. You see, STRESS and STUPID are kissing cousins. When you’re stressed, you’re more likely to be stupid. And when you’re stupid, it will make your bad situation even worse. It will end up giving you even more to stress out about.

2. “Keep calm.” Take some deep breaths. Go on a nice, long walk. Pet a dog or cat. Spend some meaningful time in prayer. One of the most effective ways to calm down is to meditate on the things of God. Some Christians say, “I don’t know how to meditate.” Yes, you do! If you know how to worry, you know how to meditate. Think about it: Worrying is basically just focusing for a long time on your problems. Christian meditation is just focusing for a long time on your blessings. The difference between worry and meditation is a matter of focus.

3. “Don’t be afraid.” This is the most repeated command of God in the Bible. Before Joshua led the people of Israel into the Promised Land, God told him, “Do not be afraid.” Before the Israelites crossed the Jordan River, God told them, “Do not be afraid.” Before the angel Gabriel told Mary that she would give birth to Jesus, God told her, “Do not be afraid.” God says to you today, “I know this situation you’re in is scary. I know it feels overwhelming. But I have called you to walk by faith and not by sight. So, I need you to trust Me. I’ve got this. Do not be afraid.” 

4. “Do not lose heart because of these two smoldering stubs of firewood.” In Ahaz’s mind, those two armies were like a raging inferno. But God told him that Rezin and Pekah were like charred pieces of wood after the fire has already passed by. They might be sending up a little smoke, but they were no real threat. In the same way, God says to you, “Trust Me. It may seem that your problems are about to overpower you and crush you, but I’m actually about to whittle them down to size. Your problems’ best days are behind them, but your best days are still up ahead.”

There’s no doubt that 2020 has been a stress-filled year. But you and I don’t have to be stressed out. God will give you His peace and strength if you will fix your eyes on Jesus and do these 4 things: Be careful, Keep calm. Don’t be afraid, and do not lose heart.

Dane Davis is the Pastor of Impact Christian Church. Please join us for our live outdoor worship service Sundays at 9 a.m. at 17746 George Blvd. in Victorville. Or, join us online at 10 a.m. on our YouTube channel (Impact Christian Church) or on Facebook.