Is Celibacy the Way to Go?

“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.” 
– 1 Corinthians 7:8

Singleness is on the rise in the United States. Many young adults are choosing to wait longer to get married. The median age for men to get married for the first time is 30 years old, and it’s 28 for women. And a growing number of adults are choosing NOT to get re-married after being widowed or divorced.

 

So -- what does GOD have to say about singleness vs. marriage? If you’re single, should you be celibate? If you’re married, should you still be celibate? 

 

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul is answering specific questions that the Corinthians asked him, beginning with this one: “Is it good for a man NOT to touch a woman?” “Touch a woman” was a G-rated way of saying, “have sexual intercourse.” So, we could paraphrase their question this way: “Is it good for a Christian man to remain single and celibate?”

 

And Paul’s answer is a surprising … YES! “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman” (v. 1). In verse 7, Paul even goes so far as to say that singleness is a grace gift from God: “I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.”

 

However, looking at verse 7 again, it also implies that, like single celibacy, marriage is another grace gift from God. And in verse 2, Paul says: “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.”

 

Now, Paul doesn’t say that the whole purpose of marriage is to give your sex drive a place to cut loose. But it IS true that for the majority of Christians who have sexual desires and needs, marriage provides a safe, holy place to fulfill those desires and needs (within reason). As Paul continues in verse 3 and 4: “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.”

 

As far as celibacy within marriage goes, Paul tells us we should only practice it sparingly. He writes, “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (v. 5).

 

Regardless of whether you’re single or married, by God’s grace you CAN be content (Philippians 4:12-13). If you’re single, be content in your singleness as long as God blesses you with it – because your singleness gives you a beautiful opportunity to serve God without distractions. And if you’re married, be content in your marriage, because your spouse is a gift from God. Single or married, you can be content and serve God “through Christ who gives you strength.”

Dane Davis is the pastor of Impact Christian Church in Victorville. Join us at Impact for Sunday services: in person or online at 8:45 a.m. on Facebook Live or YouTube. For more information, visit www.GreaterImpact.cc.